Tuesday, December 30, 2008

2008: A Recap.

new years Pictures, Images and Photos

So tomorrow is the last day of 2008. Kinda scary, huh? This year has seemed to fly by soo fast. A lot has happened for me this year. I have finally lived here for a full year; I have found out who my real friends are, who matters to me and who doesn't; I found out what I really should look for in a friend/boyfriend from all of the mistakes my idiot friends have made; and I have found an amazing guy in my life who I really care about. Hopefully next year said guy and I will be together. :) We'll just see what happens. (;

This year has also been the year I have started blogger, as a lot of you guys probably have. I've met a lot of really cool people out here. :) I just realized something: this will probably be my last post in 2008. :O

I really need to go back to school. I feel like I'm about to go insane from boredom. D: And yes, I am dead serious. :P It feels like no one posts anymore, it's kinda sad. :'(

I'm not sure if I ever posted about this, and I'm too tired to look (yes tired, not lazy, there is a difference, which I will explain in another post on a rainy day (:) but I hate that feeling like someone is watching you, yet at the same time it's sorta comforting to me. Like someone is watching out for you, cares about you in some way. And yeah, after I feel that few seconds of comfort I get totally creeped out.

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year! :D



Sunday, December 28, 2008

Angels on the Moon..

dandelion Pictures, Images and Photos

"It's the crap that bores the crap out of crap" :)

Again I wasn't able to sleep very well last night. But I did do some very productive things: Learned the lyrics to "Faust Arp" by Radiohead, which, might I add, was very hard. I can now sing along to it almost perfectly, even though I can't sing for crap :); went to bed at 10:30, but only till 11 did I realize how early it was since I couldn't fall asleep; texted my friend till about 12 since she's out of town and she's and hour behind; learned the lyrics to "15 Step", which is also by Radiohead; and wrote this:

I feel like I’m falling,
I’m going nowhere.
No one hears me.
No one cares.

No one’s listening
To what I have to say.
I’m lost
And no one’s showing me the way.

I’m trying to speak
But no words are coming out.
I’m all alone,
I think I took the wrong route.

I cry myself to sleep,
I have no one to comfort me.
I feel so blind,
I can hardly see.

There are two roads,
I’m not sure which I should take.
One I’m not sure where it leads.
The other could be a horrible mistake.

I want to find a way,
I don’t want to be alone.
I need someone with me.
I’m not sure where I should go.

But no one cares,
Or at least that’s how it feels.
There’s no one I can trust,
No one to help me heal.

I promise I'll make some better posts once I go back to school, it is so boring being stuck at home. :P



Friday, December 26, 2008


love Pictures, Images and Photos

You gotta love that picture. :)

Yes, I know it is nearly 12 at night. I know I should probably be in bed. Even though I'm exhausted, I just don't feel like it. Great excuse, right? :)

Hmm...I think I'll post one of the poems I've written. I'm starting to put all of the poems I'm writing in this computer. It's nice to have somewhere to put all of the crap I have. I had so many pictures and stuff in my old one, it was a mess. Anywho, here it is:

It feels like you’re watching me,
Even though I know you’re not there.
Whenever you’re around,
I can’t help but stare.

I want to be yours,
I’ve never had any doubt.
If you ever read this,
Could you figure this out?

It’s always been you,
Don’t you understand?
You’re all I can think about.
You’re everything but bland.

The way you look at me,
No words could describe.
Don’t you believe me?
Can’t you feel the vibe?

All I‘ve ever wanted
Was to feel you touch.
Why can’t that happen?
Is it just too much?

I want you to know
that I love you, for you.
You’re perfect to me,
If only you knew.

It's not that great. But whatever. I want to start writing about more abstract stuff, not just about love. It's starting to get very repetitive to me. Hmm...I think I might try that later tonight. :P

I think I'll go to bed now. I feel like I'm gonna pass out.



Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas, Y'all! :)

snoopy christmas Pictures, Images and Photos

Haha, this is so awesome! I got a laptop for Christmas! I'm making this post on it! Yep, I am so happy. My dad got a new one too, same one as mine, but it is really cool. :)

Hope everyone is having a Merry Christmas!



Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Merry Christmas Eve!

Christmas Icon Pictures, Images and Photoschristmas icon Pictures, Images and Photoschristmas icon Pictures, Images and Photos

I can't believe it's almost Christmas; there's just one day left. It doesn't feel like the year is almost over and that it's almost 2009. It's pretty amazing how it feels like time flies, and how some years feel longer than others. I think it's just how you live life; the more you've lived and the better the experiences, the shorter it seems. But if you do almost nothing within that year it will seem to drag on forever, and it will seem like it will never end.

But anywho, I've written some more poems. I'll probably stop posting them for awhile, especially if I keep writing them the way I am. :)

Here's the first one:

Why couldn't you make that promise?
The one that counted most of all.
What would I do without you?
Without you I would surely fall.

Who would I tell everything to
if you were to go?
I have almost no one left in my life;
I have too many foes.

You mean everything to me
whether you know it or not.
You may not think you're special.
Has this always been your plot?

You may have done some stupid things
but that does not mean you are so.
You may think you're a no one,
but I would be nothing if you were to go.

The second;

Staring blankly at the walls
I can not believe where I am.
How did I get here?
Has this always been the plan?

Why did we come here?
I feel so lost.
Do you still think this was such a good idea?
If so, don't you realize the cost?

There is no hope
in this bleak, desolate town.
I feel so worthless.
I have a permanent frown.

I just want to move,
to be anywhere but here.
I don't feel safe.
Now I'm always living in fear.

And finally;

I trust you so much,
Just take away the pain.
I will do anything
just to keep me sane.

Why do you do this?
Can't you make up your mind?
Sometimes you're so cruel,
but when you're not, you are too kind.

That's why I still talk to you,
you are like my addiction.
You help me through everything,
but am I the only one who feels this friction?

You mean too much to me
for me to let you go.
Sure, at one point I loved you,
but now you need to know.

You've hurt me too many times.
I've felt too much pain.
You never truly loved me.
I've lost too much to regain.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! :)



Tuesday, December 23, 2008

This Has Really Turned Into Something..


I didn't sleep very well last night, I was too busy thinking. Some things were really bothering me. And it actually felt, I guess, good to post that poem. I wrote it. I didn't go through different websites looking for the perfect poem to express my feelings. So instead, I wrote two last night. I stayed up late trying to edit them and make them perfect to the best of my ability. I went to an online rhyming dictionary to find the best words to go with each other. It felt right to write about my feelings and get what I was thinking about out of my head. So here are the two that I wrote:

As I walk through the halls
I see your face in the crowd.
Your bright blue eyes staring back at me,
they seem to be screaming so loud.

I want to be able to tell you,
I just want to feel your touch.
But I don't think you'd understand.
I just love you way too much.

Even though I don't know if you truly love me,
You are the most trustworthy person I know.
I don't know what I would do without you.
What would happen to me if you were to go?

I wouldn't be able to survive
Without your eyes shining back at me.
Should I tell you how I feel?
Or should I just leave that up to destiny?

I think I will tell you what you mean to me,
I want to know what you have to say.
Do you truly love me?
If not, my world will turn to grey.

And the second:

These feelings I have for you can never go away,
You'll always have a special place in my heart.
I now know what you meant to me
Now that we're so far apart.

I'll never know if you liked me,
I never had a chance to ask.
Since I moved away from you
Finding out has been my task.

I've replayed conversations over and over,
Trying to remember the fun times we've had.
But not once can I remember

You ever making me mad.

You were perfect to me,
I'll never have a doubt.
Did you even know I existed?
I guess I'll never find out.


Monday, December 22, 2008

Me? Write Poetry?! Pfft. Yeah, Sure.

sunny window hearts Pictures, Images and Photos

Let me just start out with this: I can't write poetry for crap. No kidding. So last year during English we had a poetry unit. And mine were okay, sure they sucked. But I did write one poem that I absolutely loved, and I thought, for me, this was actually pretty good.

I had forgotten about this poem until I found it in my closet today. So, just so I don't lose it again, here it is:

I looked out my window,
the sky turning black.
The frustration and anger
that made me hold back.

I wanted to tell him,
to tell him the truth.
I wanted to show him
how much he made me hurt.

I looked away, remembering the pain,
the blood boiling throughout my veins.
I took a walk to shake off the anger.
I didn't think I could take it any longer.

But then I saw him, his face in my head,
I'm thinking of all the fun we used to have.
I missed it all, but mostly him.
Without him, my world turned dim.

Pretty good, eh? At least I thought it was. :)



Sunday, December 21, 2008

Destination Imagination.

Driving Far Away. Pictures, Images and Photos

The other day my mom and I were talking in the car. Which I hate doing and we never do because it usually ends in us fighting. Which this one did, but that's a story for another day. (;

Anywho, I don't exactly remember what was said in order for us to be on this topic, but I said "You don't always need somewhere to go. Just driving anywhere is fine, and you don't always need a destination."

Which resulted in my mom saying "Well, it's pointless to drive nowhere."

I eventually just gave up trying to convince her that no, just being free and driving anywhere anytime is fun and not at all pointless.

My mom and I disagree a lot. We rarely ever agree, and when we do, it only lasts for a few minutes before we start fighting again. Which really pisses me off. I don't feel like I can tell her anything. She just doesn't understand me. I know almost every kid thinks that, but whenever I talk to my mom I feel like shit. I'm always wrong and she's always right.

Which I think is another reason why I'm the weird, quiet girl who sits in the front of the class and always reads. I'm afraid to trust people. There is only three people that I trust. Trust is usually like hot and cold, black and white to me. It's either I love you or I hate you, barely anything in between. Which is another "life lesson" I learned from my mom, along with "everyone is out to get you".

So I hope one day I'll be able to leave, driving to absolutely nowhere with the three people I trust.



Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Dream...


"Love is like a rainbow, colorful and never ending, sometimes dim and sometimes bright, but always beautiful to the eye of the beholder."

I wasn't sure if I was actually going to post this or not. It just really stuck with me. I had this amazing dream Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. No dream has really stuck and influenced me as much as this one has. And the most important part is I still remember it! I rarely remember my dreams, so this was a first:

So I won't bore you guys with the beginning or middle. It was useless and doesn't really matter that much. It was just the guy I like and this girl I completely despise hanging out. Then the next part is confusing and I won't post about it.

Then the most important part: Me and the guy start having this amazing conversation. Don't ask me what it was about, because I have no idea. But I'm almost positive the dream was in black and white. Why? Because all I really remember was his bright blue eyes. He already has amazing blue eyes, but this dream just made them, well, even more amazing (if that's even possible (;).

So on Wednesday morning I looked up 'blue' and 'talking' on Dreammoods.com (seriously, you should check this website out-it's amazing :) This is what came out for each:

Blue represents truth, wisdom, heaven, eternity, devotion, tranquility, loyalty and openness. The presence of this color in your dream, may symbolize your spiritual guide and your optimism of the future. You have clarity of mind.
Depending on the context of your dream, the color blue may also be a metaphor of "being blue" and feeling sad.

(The last part is not true, unless it could mean the beginning of the dream.)

To dream that you are talking does not have any significance unless it is unusual or bizarre. Consider also if what you say evoke strong feelings or behavioral reactions. The dream may simply be highlighting your need improve your communication skills or learn to express yourself more clearly.

Both make complete sense, especially blue. I trust him so freakin' much! (once again, it explains the neck thing.)

Woah. That's all I remember.

5 Days Till Christmas!!! :D



Thursday, December 18, 2008

Third Concert.

music notes Pictures, Images and Photos

Today we had our last concert for awhile, I think our next one is going to be for UIL in the spring.

We sounded awesome, except I messed up sometimes. :P I almost fell. Twice. My dress is too long, so I almost tripped over it.

We were in the middle of playing this really slow song, when all of a sudden this tapping noise is coming from upstairs, and totally throws us off. Or at least it threw me off, I'm not sure about everyone else. So we had to stop the song. :D Yep, it was pretty funny. :)

Tomorrow is going to be a half day, and it's the last day before our break! So I have my two favorite classes tomorrow, first and second periods. We're probably not going to do anything at all all day. Then I'm going to the movies with some friends. That's basically it.

Oh, and remember when I said that I totally freak out when someone touches the back of my neck? Well, you know who can (sorry for the lack of specifics. I know some of my friends read this, can't let them find out who I'm talking about (;). It's a long story, but I found out today that he can. I think it's from trust. I trust him, so he can. My one friend does it to me all the time because she sits behind me, so she can, and I jump so badly. It's really bad. But he can, and that's all that matters. :)



Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Second Concert

music notes Pictures, Images and Photos

So I'll just start with the first concert, since before I didn't really get a chance to say anything about it:

It was sooo much fun! It wasn't really that cold, even though it was like 26°. :) When we played for the old people it looked like they really enjoyed it. Some were singing to some of the Christmas carols we played. When we were about to play A Charlie Brown Christmas, though, my chin rest, of course, falls off, and one of the little arm things falls off with it. So I had to put down my instrument and screw the thing back in while, must I remind you, everyone else was playing! I entered through the middle of the first part, but still, we were standing, which made it all that much harder. :P

Then for our second concert, which I just got back from, was so much fun also! :) I got to see some of my old friends from the middle school I went to last year. The beginner group sounded so cute! It was awesome. :D Nothing bad happened. Oh, I almost tripped up the stairs because my dress is so long, but I didn't actually trip, so it's all good. :)

Our last concert before Christmas break is on Thursday, which will be at our high school. I can't wait! :)

World geography was fun. This one guy and I got into this huge discussion about how we both don't like people, and we were basically just talking. We worked in groups, so him, me, and another guy worked together. He wants to be a dictator ha. :) He has the best eye contact, ever! I wrote about him in one of my posts, y'all probably know who I'm talking about, hopefully. :) <3

Oh, and he kept staring at me throughout the concert. Wonder what that was all about. (;



First Concert

The concert at the retirement home went great! It was fun to walk outside with everyone complaining about how cold it was! I for one did no think it was that cold :)

Now I'm off to my other concert! I'll blog about it later! :D



Sunday, December 14, 2008

Of All Weeks To Get Sick!!

rain Pictures, Images and Photos

Ugh. I'm sick. I can't breathe out of my nose. I sound funny. This is not good. :(

Of all weeks to get sick! I have to go to school, nonetheless actually want to! I have 3 concerts, & I have to go to! This is not good! We're also reviewing for exams in french, and practicing the speaking part. :( I'll be able to play, it's not like I'm throwing up or anything, I just feel like crap right now.


I can't wait for Christmas. All I'm really asking for is a laptop (because my computer is retarded) and a few CDs. That's really all I can think of asking for. Oh, & speakers for my iPod. Yeah, that's it.

I think I'm going to go to sleep now. I'm starting to get a headache.



Saturday, December 13, 2008

Yay! I've Been Tagged!

I've been tagged by Ali! Thanks Ali :)


1.Each blogger must post these rules first.
2.Each blogger starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3.Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 8 things.
4.At the end of your blog, you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
5.Don't forget to leave them a comment, telling them that they've been tagged and to read your blog.

8 Facts/Habits:

1. My favorite color is green.

2. I sometimes have music A.D.D: I can't listen to a whole song, no matter how much I love it. I usually can, but sometimes I just can't. :)

3. I play the violin.

4. The volume on the TV has to be set on an odd number.

5. I'm better at sight reading during orchestra than playing a song I have been working on for months, or one I have previously played. I don't know why, maybe it's just because I get bored of the song easily? I'm not sure. :P

6. I can not write in blue pens; I only use them when I don't have any other pen.

7. I love to re-read books and find all of the little things that I missed when reading them for the first time.

8. My favorite song changes almost daily.

8 People I tag:

Stranger to Life

Rien n'est Parfait.

Sheet Music 2 Pictures, Images and Photos

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people." ~unknown

I am having serious writer's block. I don't know what to write about anymore. Nothing interesting is going on, & I have no thoughts to write about. This is horrible!

Friday was really boring. Our other teacher for world geo (yes, I have two teachers) was our substitute. He was getting graded, so he threatened us on Thursday (ha) to make sure we behaved. I think he tried too hard, or at least that's what it looked like to me. He's usually so mean, but yesterday he was okay, not really, but he was nicer. He even let us talk for a bit! He never ever never lets us do that when it's just us and him. It was very surprising.

Orchestra went very well. I hope we don't screw up any of our concerts. We sounded good yesterday, so hopefully not.

I have to find a long black-sleeved shirt, or a white-sleeved one to wear for our concert at the retirement home. I don't have one, & and my mom is shorter than me, so that probably won't work either. We have these really long shirts that we have to wear (I'm so short mine is probably longer than everyone else's :) so I have to tie mine in the back. & they're short-sleeved, & it's suppose to be cold & rainy on Tuesday. Blech.

I'm sick too. I almost lost my voice yesterday 'cause I have a bad sore throat, & today I can't breathe out of my noise. Ugh. Of all weeks to get sick! :(

Oh, & "Rien n'est parfait" means "Nothing is perfect" in French by the way :)



Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Just Move On.

snow rain and alone Pictures, Images and Photos

"It stinks when somebody likes you but you don't like them back." ~ <3

Today was okay, I guess.

I'm really excited for Tuesday. We have two concerts that day-one during school where we go to a retirement home, & another one after school with the middle school I went to last year. I get to miss most of English. :D

But we have to walk to the retirement home (it's right across the street. Don't worry, it's not child abuse, you don't have to call child services (;). That day it's suppose to be freezing, windy, & oh yeah, it's suppose to snow. It never snows here. But when it finally does we have to walk in it. Everyone's probably gonna freak out. :)

World Geography was fun. I'm starting to really hate this one girl in my class, though. She keeps telling me my best guy friend is gay, which I'm almost positive he's not (it's a .01% chance that he might be, not that there's anything wrong with that. (;). It just irritates me! So what if he's girly, it doesn't mean he's gay! Grrr. I'm so mad. Five people in my world geo class have asked me if it was true. It's starting to get old. The real problem: she used to looove him. He doesn't have the same feelings for her, so I'm assuming that's why she's telling everyone this, to get back at him. :( She also has the most perverted mind ever. You don't even want to know some of the things she has said. ~shivers~

It is a horrible feeling. When you love someone, & they don't like you back. Even the other way around-when someone loves you but you don't like them. What are you suppose to do? Tell them the truth? Or just try not to lead them on? That's the problem with my friend-he's so awesome, but he leads a lot of people on. He doesn't mean to. It just sorta happens.

He feels horrible (or as horrible as he can feel :). She likes him, he doesn't like her, & now all of our world geo class thinks hes gay.




Tuesday, December 9, 2008

100th Post!

balloons Pictures, Images and Photos

So, my last post was my 100th post, but I didn't realize it. Oops. :) So I guess Happy Belated 100th Post! Woot.

You Look Like a Cancer

It's likely you have a bit of a baby face. People think you're younger than you are.

You have prominent cheeks and a very expressive jaw. You usually have a big smile.

Your feet and hands tend to be a bit small compared to the rest of you.

Not that the rest of you is all that big. You're probably a bit shorter than average.

Like most Cancer people, you are probably incredibly compassionate and kind. You have a big heart.

You are also shrewd, intuitive, and wise. No one's going to take advantage of you.

What Sign Do You Look Like?

That is probably one of the most-true results I have ever gotten. First of all, because I am a cancer. & I'm kinda short. :)

Next week I'll have a lot of stuff to blog about: 3 concerts. Blech. Not that I don't enjoy playing. They're fun. But, I don't know.

That's it. :P



Sunday, December 7, 2008

Titles Are Pointless.

love Pictures, Images and Photos

"Love isn't finding someone you can live with; it's finding someone you can't live without."

This post is going to seem very repetitive to the posts I've posted a few months ago.


I don't know what to do anymore. I feel sick to my stomach whenever I think about him (in a good way (;). I'm anxious to see him tomorrow. I want to see him. No. I don't want to. I feel like I need to, it's that bad.

Ugh, the quote is so true. I can't live without him. It's impossible. If you saw him you would feel the same way. And if you knew him, omg. He has such sexy hair and eyes haha. :) But I do like him for more than his looks. He is one of the sweetest guys I know. Even though he can be a total ass sometimes, but who isn't?

But asking him out is out of the question. Not now at least. Maybe soon, I don't know. Maybe I should just move on? If that's even possible. I will aways love him, even if it's just like a brother, or if it's how I feel right now.

Wow, I love blogging. Telling complete strangers about my personal, pointless problems helps. A lot. :/

I will reply back to y'all's comments within the next few days. I'm just too lazy to do it now. I'm sorry.



It's Been Awhile...

seeking Pictures, Images and Photos

At least for me it's been. :)

"It's called subliminal messaging."
"Wow, that's a big word for you." (sarcastic)
"So is evacuation." ~ My friends are awesome :)


Not much has been going on.


I feel alone. My dad broke the washing machine (Idk how :), so now him and my mom are out getting a new one. I have the house all to myself (even if its only for an hour). Hope I don't burn the house down. :)

This is actually pretty cool. I'm blasting music from my playlist, which I can never do.

According to BlogThings my family is 66% dysfunctional. Hard to disagree with that. (;

"Even if the voices aren't real, they've got some great ideas."

Woah. That has got to be the bumper sticker I put on my car.

Hmmm...yesterday I went to the mall with my friend. It was fun. I got two CDs:

Sam's Town The Killers
Stop the Clocks Oasis

Both are very good. I love "When You Were Young". It's probably my new favorite song. :)

Eh, that's it. Hopefully we'll play at the retirement home this week. ♪



Thursday, December 4, 2008

How Could That Possibly Be True?!

"Well, at least I don't say 'parple'" ~me :)

Today was one of the worst days ever. Some parts were good, while others were terribly bad. Like almost crying during world geography? That was bad. Jumping out of a bus? That was fun.

The bus evacuation drill was okay. My friend & I just goofed off, & it was fun.

I got to see my friend today. :) I haven't seen her in forever. It's really horrible. :(

Really long story to why I almost cried in world geography, but I was sooo sad that I started shaking and had to go to the bathroom. It was really bad.

Oh, & apparently my friend's a werewolf. Shocker? Not much to me, I've heard weirder. & coming from her? I really don't know what to believe anymore.



Wednesday, December 3, 2008


love Pictures, Images and Photos

"...I don't feel what you feel, I don't want to feel this incomplete. No one here can tell me how to fill this space between. Everyone knows you're my one regret. Everyone knows you're my one weakness..." ~The Last Goodnight

Woah. A lot happened today, which is basically just useless info that none of y'all probably care about, but whatever. :)

So in orchestra, we sounded pretty awesome. I love playing Christmas music, I don't know why, it's just, I don't know, relaxing? It's just nice to have orchestra first thing in the morning. :)

In world geography we played "Jeopardy". We split up into three teams, with the guy that is the two year old (remember?) on my team. & I guess I kinda like him, but not really, but he is just sooo incredibly smart, it's unbelievable some of the useless facts he knows. But anywho, I got almost all of the questions right, except one (stupid Suez Canal :P) but when I did get one right, I got a high five from him! Haha, I know, stupid, but it still brightened up my day. :D

In English tomorrow we have a bus safety evacuation thing, & we have to go outside and learn how to "properly evacuate a bus". Pffft. It's a good thing to learn, especially with orchestra and all the trips we go on, but most kids won't remember it. Their brain capacities are too small & if they try to fit anything else in it they might forget their locker combination (from Two and a Half Men! :D). So tomorrow will be "fun" in English.

We've had a student teacher in English since the beginning of the school year, but she's going to be leaving on Friday. :'( It's really gong to be sad, she is so much cooler than are regular teacher, but oh well. She might substitute for our class though. :)

Our concert is coming up for orchestra soon. We have two, I don't remember the exact dates, but it's like the day before we go on Holiday Break. Can't wait till I see my friends from last year! :D & we sound so much better than we did last year. Oh, & did I mention we're gonna get a student teacher for orchestra soon? Yep, that is going to be hard. I hope it's after UIL, we'll do horrible if it's not.



Monday, December 1, 2008

Whoa :O

snow Pictures, Images and Photos

I cannot believe it's already December. This year has went by so fast, it's almost 2009! :O


It's crazy. So much has happened this year. It's just amazing.

I just took a blogthings quiz; I'm clam chowder: :D

You Are Clam Chowder
You are cynical and a bit provincial. You don't trust what's new or trendy. You are also indulgent and hedonistic. You like rich foods, and you would never count calories. You are not a big cooker - or a big foodie. Food is not complicated for you. You eat what's comfortable. And what's from a box or can. You're very low maintenance.

It's somewhat true. & I love clam chowder :)

*Here's the link* 'cause I'm too lazy to load the quiz on my computer. :P

Today was fun. I'm assuming no one practiced over the break 'cause that's how we sounded, at least for the first half of orchestra. Towards the end we started to sound pretty good . :)

World Geography was okay. There's this really creepy guy in my class who always sneaks up behind me and scares the sh!t out of me. He put his chin on my shoulder the other day when I was sitting down. I jumped out of my seat so fast, it scared me so badly. :P Ugh, he's just the creepy guy that sits in the back of your class that seems like he's going to be a murderer when he grows up. I don't know, that's just what I think of when I see him...



Sunday, November 30, 2008

Finally, I Get To Go Back To School :D

snow umbrella

Today we started to decorate the house for Christmas. It was fun. We still have so much stuff left to put up & hardly any room left. :P

I can't wait for school tomorrow. I love world geography, it's still my favorite subject. (; I love Mondays. It's so weird to be off from school for so long, but I love school, which I know is kinda weird. :) But it's really the only place that I feel completely safe in. I like my house, but I just love to be in school so much more, is that weird? Probably. But I don't care. :P

It's like, 60º outside, it's crazy. I love it. <3 Hot weather annoys me, I love it below 20º. :)

I realized this week that no one can touch the back of my neck without me freaking out. Like I will punch you in the face. I don't know why though. It's really weird... :P

I'm so gonna suck in orchestra tomorrow, I haven't played at all this week. I probably should have practiced. Oops. Oh well. :)

I think I'm gonna go download some Christmas music on my iPod now.



Saturday, November 29, 2008

About Me :D (:

Love Bubbles

I was bored. :P

Name: Victoria! :D
Nicknames: Vicki. Don't call me that though...please :P
Zodiac: Cancer
Hair Color: Brown
How Long Is It?: Sorta kinda long
Curly or Straight?: Wavy :)
Eye Color: It changes sometimes; sometimes green, and sometimes brown.
Height: Short :(
Do You Dress for Comfort or Style?: Comfort :)

Opposite Sex
Are you single or taken?: Single (for now (;)
Height: Taller than me.
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Blue :)

Have You Ever...
Traveled Out of the Country?: yes
Swam in the Ocean?: no
Been in Love?: Yes <3
Purposely Walked in the Rain?: Yes, I love rain :)
Had Your Heart Broken?: yes
Broken Somebody Else's Heart?: I don't think so, hopefully not (;

This or That
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald's; the Burger King guy creeps me out :P
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Car or Truck?: Car, unless it's like Bella's truck :)
Cat or Dog?: dog
Hot or Cold?: freezing! :)
Night or Day?: Night
Sunrise or Sunset?: Sunset
Summer or Winter?: winter
Rain or Sun?: rain
Text or IM?: IM, it's much easier
Chinese or Mexican Food?: Mexican

Season: winter
Month: December
Color: green
Holiday: Christmas
Day of the Week: Thursday, I don't know why, it's just awesome :)
Number: 7
Book: The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen
Sport: baseball
Movie: Twilight (I'm so predictable (:)
CD: One X (Three Days Grace)
TV Show: Whose Line Is It Anyway? :)
Place to Be: My grandma's house, it's just so peaceful there :)
Band: Three Days Grace


I found this quote, and I love it:

"Some people are like slinkies...they're really good for nothing...but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs..."



Friday, November 28, 2008

Smile Like You Mean It.

"And all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding. There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how..." ~Oasis

This week has been really boring. I hate being home from school. This is what has happened so far in my "exciting" *giggles* week:

Monday: Full day of school today. We watched Romeo & Juliet in English. We totally sucked in orchestra. Nothing really happened.

Tuesday: Half day. We played for most of the class in orchestra, then had the rest of the time to ourselves. Then in world geography we played a game where you write down a name of a movie, hand it to the person in front of you, then they draw a picture representing the movie. Then they hand it to the next person & they guess the name of the movie, & then just goes on and on. When you finally get your paper back you get some really weird answers. :)

Wednesday: I played video games all day. I went through all of my games and played everyone for at least 10 minutes (or at least tried to (;). Then I polished my nails. They're teal! I know, exciting, right?

Thursday: Thanksgiving. Just celebrated with my family. Ate turkey and all that good stuff. :)

Friday: We're going to go shopping for some Christmas ornaments. We do this every year: buy some new ornaments for the tree so every year we keep adding ornaments. Our tree is almost filled :) Then my dad is going to put up the tree today. Oh, and it's raining! Can you believe it?! I can't. :D

Saturday: Nothing planned. We're going to decorate the tree, but that's it. :P

Yep, that's it. :)



Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Your Heart is an Empty Room

"And all you see is where else you could be when you're at home, and out on the street are so many possibilities to not be alone..." ~Death Cab For Cutie

Every time I live somewhere, I lose a friend, whether they just snap (long story), or I move, but this time, it's different.

I'd rather not explain it; at this point I don't even want to think about it. I miss her so much already, and just a few hours ago she told me she was leaving. At least I think so (I couldn't fully understand the voicemail she left me, but most of it I could). She's not moving, she's still going to live here, but it's going to feel like forever till I see her again. It will feel as if she really did move.

Huh, I thought blogging about it might help a little. It didn't help much.

I don't think I'm going to post at all this week, even though I have the whole week off, so if I don't, Happy Turkey Day to everyone! :)

Oh, and this was my horoscope for today:

Cancer (6/22-7/22)
The feelings you have been trying to hide refuse to be hidden, so open up already!

I thought it was ironic. It was a half day today, so of course he wasn't in school.



Monday, November 24, 2008

A Perfect World?

I was watching the Twilight Zone a few weeks ago. There was this one episode where beautiful people were considered ugly, and ugly people were beautiful. It got me thinking: "What if we lived in a world where no one was judged about what they look like, but who they are on the inside?"

You've probably heard this saying: "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart." ~Helen Keller.

This is true. Who cares if someone is beautiful on the outside, if beauty is nonexistent on the inside? I know it matters; beauty is what gets you attracted to a person, but inner beauty is what makes you stay with that person forever. Having a kind heart is more important than anything when it comes to beauty. <3



Sunday, November 23, 2008

Twilight the Movie

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..." ~Twilight :)

This is definitely one of the best movies ever! You really have to go see it if you haven't already. (and if you've already seen it, see it again! =)

There's a half day on Tuesday. I hate being home, it's soo boring! Nothing to do. :'(

Just found this song. I love the lyrics to it:

If you be my star
I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine.

But you can skyrocket away from me
And never come back if you find another galaxy
Far from here with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by.

If you be my boat
I'll be your sea
A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free.

But you can set sail to the west if you want to
And past the horizon till I can't even see you
Far from here where the beaches are wide
Just leave me your wake to remember you by.

If you be my star
I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine.

But you can skyrocket away from me
And never come back if you find another galaxy
Far from here with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by
Stardust to remember you by .
~Gregory and the Hawk, Boats and Birds

Thanksgiving is already this Thursday. It will be weird that there's not going to be any snow. :P




This is probably the best answer I have ever gotten on one of these. Not the first part, but definitely the rest:

You Are a Persian Cat

You are very high-maintenance, at least as far as keeping up your appearance goes.

But you're surprisingly low-maintenance in every other aspect of your life.

You are peaceful and sweet tempered. People enjoy your company.

You are loving and a good companion, but it takes you a while to trust people.



Saturday, November 22, 2008


I was bored, so I took a whole bunch of BlogThings quizzes. It took me 10 minutes to figure out whether or not 'quizzes' had two Zs or one. :)

What Your Cupcake Says About You

At parties, you seek balance. You don't like parties that are too wild... or too quiet.

You hardly have any restraint. You only hold yourself back when absolutely necessary.

The most important thing in your life is fun.

You are laid back, flexible, and easy to get along with. To know you is to care for you.

The Cupcake Test
You Are Boggle

You are an incredibly creative and resourceful person.

You're able to dig deep and think outside the box to get things done.

You are a non linear thinker. You don't like following directions

You draw your inspiration from the strangest places sometimes. You're constantly inspired.

What Board Game Are You?
What Your Home Says About You

You come across as somewhat intellectual. You can be quite insightful at times.

Your hygiene is passable, but you may be hiding some dirty secrets.

You are a very domestic person. You enjoy decorating, cooking, and making things homey.

You are not a nurturing person by nature, but you can easily take care of someone you truly love.

You feel settled in your life. You have enough time to focus on little details.

You are a very self sufficient person. You can get along well without much help.

Your friends see you as accommodating, peaceful, and forgiving.

What Does Your Home Say About You?
What Your Height Says About You

You are a true adventurer, and you live for the thrill.

You have a lot of charisma, and you're good at convincing people to join you in your schemes.

You are open to the world, and you make connections easily. You have lots of friends.

You are likely to have many life paths to choose from. There are many possibilities open to you.

You are about as tall as the average Vietnamese woman.

What Does Your Height Say About You?
Your Heart is Feeling Indifference

Your heart is pretty much on hiatus right now.

You're not particularly interested in love, and you're cultivating a sort of romantic apathy.

Whether you've been burned badly or you're just burned out, your heart is cold to passion.

Deep down, your heart is susceptible to: A bit of cold heartedness

Your current outlook on love: Detached and stoic - you try to analyze love from a logical perspective

Your love life will improve if you: Open up a little. Stepping back can help you find peace with your emotions, but it can also make you repress them.

Watch out for: Too much cynicism. Indifference can lead you down a dark path.

What Is Your Heart Feeling?
You Would Do Anything For Love

Anyone who stands between you and love better watch out!

You'll do almost anything for your true love - even if it puts your life at risk.

You are an old fashioned romantic and believe in unconditional love.

Once you love someone, you'll always love them... no matter what.

Would You Do Anything For Love?
You Are 41% Addicted to the Internet

You're somewhat addicted to the internet - but who isn't?

You can keep it under check, and you're by no means a hermit.


What exactly is it...

"I don't want to be your friend, I just want to be your lover, no matter how it ends, no matter how it starts..." ~Radiohead

I love that. It's so true about me right now. And to y'all that don't know what I'm talking about, read the last few posts. <3

So how do you know when you really love someone? Is it just that feeling you get when you see them, when you have a million butterflies in your stomach, or how special you may think that person is? Or is it the way they talk to you? When they look into your eyes when they're suppose to be talking to someone else? When they stare at you from across the room, and you know that they're looking right at you?

You think that they like you. But your just too afraid to actually tell them the truth.

It's a really horrible feeling, not knowing whether they like you or not. You want to know, but your just too afraid to actually find out. You don't want to loose that friendship with them, but you still want to be "more than friends".

Which is kind of how that quote is. You just want to be "lovers". You don't want to only be their friend. You want to be something more special in the relationship.

Which explains how I feel right now.



Friday, November 21, 2008


How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright

And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everthing is alright

Everything is alright
Everything is alright

I feel lost right now, like I'm in a dream. Nothing seems to be real. It's a horrible feeling. This song is so perfect, and I love it so much.

I need to tell him how I feel...

I want him to know...

I feel so alone right now. I don't know why. Sometimes I feel so great, then all of a sudden this big flood of lonliness washes over me.

Creepy, huh?



Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Should I, or Shouldn't I?

"He's just like the 2 year old that sits behind you at the movies and kicks the back of your seat the whole entire time..." ~Me =)

To explain that: Well, there's this one guy in my world geography class. He's so extremely cute, he's just a pain in my ass. He annoys me to no end, always telling me to shut up, and how no one cares, and he's just so mean!

Well, I think he kinda likes me.

You remember in second grade, how when you you liked someone you would always pick on them, and just make fun of them. I still don't understand why we use to do that. To hide our feelings? I'll never know.

But the point is, he constantly does that. I think he likes me, my friends think he likes me. It's irritating!

My friend went to school today. He was never sick, he just skipped school. Loser. I almost had a heart attack for no reason. We did good on the project, though. Only three groups had to present, and, of course, ours was chosen. And I lost rock, paper, scissors to him, so I had to present it. Blech. He just stood up there with me and held up the project. Ugh.

I really want to get over him. I like him so much. It's really horrible. My other friend likes him too, and she doesn't know that I like him. I would feel horrible if I ever went out with him. Should I? Should I ask him out? And should I feel horrible if he says yes? I've known him waaaay longer than my other friend has, and I've liked him a lot longer, too.

Idk. I might text him the question game. ;) (Not really, though)

For the rest of the week absolutely nothing exciting is going on. I am bored out of my mind.



Monday, November 17, 2008


Today was a suck-ish day.

Well, in world geography my friend never came to school. (The guy that I did the project with.) He's sick. I don't think he's going to be able to go to school tomorrow either, so now I'll have to present the project on my own. Grrr.

We're reading Romeo and Juliet in English. All my friends are all depressed and like, "Do we REALLY have to read this?!" I like it, though. It's really interesting.

I'm really tired, I barely got any sleep last night. I haven't been able to sleep very much this past week. It's annoying. I just want to go to sleep right now.

Haha I got this really great text from my friend:

3 Facts of Life:
1. You can't touch all of your teeth with your tongue.
2. You're a retard cause you just tried it.
3. Now you're smiling cause your an idiot!

Haha I actually tried it! =)



Sunday, November 16, 2008

New Violin

Yes! I got a new violin today! It sounds awesome and looks awesome too! I might take some pics of it later, I'm too lazy to do it now. =)

I got three CDs today:

Viva La Vida-Coldplay
OK Computer-Radiohead
The Eraser-Thom Yorke

All three are really amazing, and you should seriously think about buying them =D

Um, yeah, buying the violin was ok. Is it bad that I didn't find it all that exciting? Humph, I think it is =P

Don't ask about the piano, I probably should have put a violin up there, ha. But it looks really cool though.

These last few posts have really been disorganized and me rambling on about nothing. Weird.



Crazy Little Thing Called Love <3

Yesterday was fun. We worked on the project for about 8 and a half hours. We were texting our one friend and told her how we were making out and stuff. (Don't worry, we really didn't ;) She is just waaay too gullible. =)

I'm going to go get a new violin today. It's going to be boring yet fun at the same time. My parents think they know everything about picking one out, but they don't. Which really bugs me. =P

I'll post about it later.



Friday, November 14, 2008

Two Roads...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~Robert Frost

I know I already posted this poem, but I thought it went really well with how I feel right now. Hard to explain, but I really could just go either way...Sorry if this makes no sense, it probably doesn't.

I haven't been posting everyday. It feels weird. =P

My computer keeps on freezing. Idk how much research we'll get done tomorrow, if any. We did some in world geography, but we mostly just goofed off. =)

I'm getting a new violin. Hopefully this weekend. The one I have now sounds too bright. I like the more mellow sounding ones.

Harrowdown Hill is my new favorite song. Youtube it. Seriously, you have to. I'm addicted to it, if it's even possible to be addicted to a song.

Uhm, we probably had our best rehearsal in the last few weeks in orchestra today.

This week went by sooo fast. I can not believe it's Friday! TGIF! <3



Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Love? I hope so...

Today in orchestra we played for home schooled kids to teach them about orchestra. It was so much fun because they were only 5 or 6 years old. They were adorable!

It rained on Monday. It never ever ever rains here. It's like when it does, we get major flooding and tornadoes.

Go figure.

I haven't been able to sleep the last few nights. I don't know why, but I am soo exhausted right now.

I think I really like the guy now. A lot. It's hard to really say though, but I think so. And I think he likes me back. I'm almost positive now. Can't wait till Saturday, it will be fun. I won't be on at all probably on Saturday, because we need all day to work on it. There has not been one day during this week that we both could work on it. I really hope we can get it done, but I think we can. It's going to be sooo much work. Idk, I might post about it, I might not. Idk.



Sunday, November 9, 2008

This Is Stupid.

Haha I know I promised a long time ago that I would stop posting about my stupid friend. Well, I lied. =)

She still likes the leprechaun (see post for details). He asked her out by going to the football game with him. I hate football games. They're pointless, or at least that's what I think. No offence to anyone out there who lives for them. =P

But anyway, to make a looong story short (haha, no pun intended, he's reeaallly short =D) he treated her like trash. How can some guys do that to girls? It is so horrible. I for one would never let any guy physically or verbally abuse me. And my friends know if their boyfriend ever did anything to them, I would sooo hunt them down. ;) I'm usually the responsible one for my friends. I'm the one who makes sure they don't do anything stupid.

But sometimes I wish I wasn't. Trust me, I am definitely not the strong one. I'm usually the one who gives out advice, and tells them who they shouldn't go out with. Guys like the leprechaun, who did in fact verbally abuse my friend. (Let's just say he said some things he shouldn't have. I sooo wanted to pound his face in. ;)

So if your reading this: Please please please don't let any guy ever beat you down, whether it is emotionally of physically. You are too good for them anyway.

Anyway, tommorrow's Monday. I hate the weekends, I am so bored! I have no clue what to do.

We need to work on the project. Ugh. It's stupid 'cause now he's gonna know where I live! Stalker. (It's a looong story also, which is in this post)

Peace. =P


Saturday, November 8, 2008

You ever have this feeling...?

You know when there is this amazing person in your life, that you really like. A lot. And you always think about them, not in a stalker-ish way, but just thinking about life and them.

But you know you can never tell them, because you're friends, and you don't want to screw up your relationship with them.

Well, there is this totally amazing guy in two of my classes, I'm not gonna say who for obvious reasons.

But it's like whenever I'm with him, it's amazing. When I talk to him, it's awesome. Sorry for my lack of good adjectives, I just really don't know how to describe it.

And whenever him, me, and one of our friends talk, he always stands next to me. Really close to me.

I really like him, and I think he likes me, even though he acts like he doesn't around his friends. But when it's just us...

And I felt that I really needed to say this:

When I had lived in a different state than I do now (don't want any creepy stalkers out there, do I? =) I really liked this one guy. Really really, almost to the point where it was almost love. When we were together, well, it felt amazing. He was probably the perfect guy. Well, when I was about to tell him that I liked him, that's when I found out we were going to be moving. It was horrible. I still wonder what it would've been like if we were together.

Idk why I'm posting about this, I just really felt the need to write about it. I feel better now =)



Friday, November 7, 2008

Today was the Best Day Ever!

Today was awesome.

Orchestra went perfectly. We sounded awesome! And we even got cake at the end =)

In world geography we are going to do a project with partners. I got this really awesome guy who says I'm going to do all of the research work and he's going to do all of the coloring. He won't though, I know him. We are both sooo smart, I know I'm not going to fail it OR do all of the work. =)

In English we went to the library to do research. It was sooo much fun! Even though my friend and I got stuck with the worst person in our class, we both got a lot of work done (more than what was expected we should do) and we had soo much fun! We got the guy to shoot rubber bands at our friends on the other side of the room. Then they shot it back, and it went back and forth, so when the teacher wasn't looking (which was like never), we would shoot a rubber band at each other. It was fun.

French was boring, none of my friends are in my class, but after it I went to the pep rally. Surprisingly it was fun. As fun as a pep rally can be, anyway. =)

But the whole point is, that exactly one year ago today, was the first day that I moved here. Weird, huh? I totally forgot that it has been a whole year! I just remembered a few minutes ago =)

So what I thought was going to be the worst day of my life one year ago, with starting a new school, missing my friends, turned out to be an awesome day one year later.



Thursday, November 6, 2008

Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn!

OMG! TWILIGHT is only 14 days away! I am sooo excited =)

Today was fun. In English we're doing a research project in the library. Our teacher chose our "study buddies", but she did try to stick us with our friends. Unfortunately, me and my friend (who are basically the smart ones in class =) got stuck with the class loser who never does his homework, so we had to try to explain everything to him. It was horrible ='(

My mom and I went shopping after school today. I got four new pairs of shoes, which I NEEDED. My mom and I rarely go shopping. We're not really that close, which I know is bad, but we always fight when we're together, it's really horrible. But, thankfully, today was good, and we didn't argue THAT much =P

Orchestra is okay, I guess. It's boring. But I looove playing Christmas songs for orchestra, it's so awesome! Especially A Charlie Brown Christmas. That is like my all-time favorite song EVER. =)

And about the title: it's a song by Hellogoodbye (who are AMAZING! The song's on my playlist, if you want to listen to it.) I just couldn't think of a title. I'm tired. =P



Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

~Theodore Roethke