Angels on the Moon..

"It's the crap that bores the crap out of crap" :)

Again I wasn't able to sleep very well last night. But I did do some very productive things: Learned the lyrics to "Faust Arp" by Radiohead, which, might I add, was very hard. I can now sing along to it almost perfectly, even though I can't sing for crap :); went to bed at 10:30, but only till 11 did I realize how early it was since I couldn't fall asleep; texted my friend till about 12 since she's out of town and she's and hour behind; learned the lyrics to "15 Step", which is also by Radiohead; and wrote this:

I feel like I’m falling,
I’m going nowhere.
No one hears me.
No one cares.

No one’s listening
To what I have to say.
I’m lost
And no one’s showing me the way.

I’m trying to speak
But no words are coming out.
I’m all alone,
I think I took the wrong route.

I cry myself to sleep,
I have no one to comfort me.
I feel so blind,
I can hardly see.

There are two roads,
I’m not sure which I should take.
One I’m not sure where it leads.
The other could be a horrible mistake.

I want to find a way,
I don’t want to be alone.
I need someone with me.
I’m not sure where I should go.

But no one cares,
Or at least that’s how it feels.
There’s no one I can trust,
No one to help me heal.

I promise I'll make some better posts once I go back to school, it is so boring being stuck at home. :P

Peace.

~*::♫♪♥'.victoria.'♥♪♫::*

Blah?

You gotta love that picture. :)

Yes, I know it is nearly 12 at night. I know I should probably be in bed. Even though I'm exhausted, I just don't feel like it. Great excuse, right? :)

Hmm...I think I'll post one of the poems I've written. I'm starting to put all of the poems I'm writing in this computer. It's nice to have somewhere to put all of the crap I have. I had so many pictures and stuff in my old one, it was a mess. Anywho, here it is:

It feels like you’re watching me,
Even though I know you’re not there.
Whenever you’re around,
I can’t help but stare.

I want to be yours,
I’ve never had any doubt.
If you ever read this,
Could you figure this out?

It’s always been you,
Don’t you understand?
You’re all I can think about.
You’re everything but bland.

The way you look at me,
No words could describe.
Don’t you believe me?
Can’t you feel the vibe?

All I‘ve ever wanted
Was to feel you touch.
Why can’t that happen?
Is it just too much?

I want you to know
that I love you, for you.
You’re perfect to me,
If only you knew.

It's not that great. But whatever. I want to start writing about more abstract stuff, not just about love. It's starting to get very repetitive to me. Hmm...I think I might try that later tonight. :P

I think I'll go to bed now. I feel like I'm gonna pass out.

Peace.

~*::♫♪♥'.victoria.'♥♪♫::*

Merry Christmas Eve!

I can't believe it's almost Christmas; there's just one day left. It doesn't feel like the year is almost over and that it's almost 2009. It's pretty amazing how it feels like time flies, and how some years feel longer than others. I think it's just how you live life; the more you've lived and the better the experiences, the shorter it seems. But if you do almost nothing within that year it will seem to drag on forever, and it will seem like it will never end.

But anywho, I've written some more poems. I'll probably stop posting them for awhile, especially if I keep writing them the way I am. :)

Here's the first one:

Why couldn't you make that promise?
The one that counted most of all.
What would I do without you?
Without you I would surely fall.

Who would I tell everything to
if you were to go?
I have almost no one left in my life;
I have too many foes.

You mean everything to me
whether you know it or not.
You may not think you're special.
Has this always been your plot?

You may have done some stupid things
but that does not mean you are so.
You may think you're a no one,
but I would be nothing if you were to go.

The second;

Staring blankly at the walls
I can not believe where I am.
How did I get here?
Has this always been the plan?

Why did we come here?
I feel so lost.
Do you still think this was such a good idea?
If so, don't you realize the cost?

There is no hope
in this bleak, desolate town.
I feel so worthless.
I have a permanent frown.

I just want to move,
to be anywhere but here.
I don't feel safe.
Now I'm always living in fear.

And finally;

I trust you so much,
Just take away the pain.
I will do anything
just to keep me sane.

Why do you do this?
Can't you make up your mind?
Sometimes you're so cruel,
but when you're not, you are too kind.

That's why I still talk to you,
you are like my addiction.
You help me through everything,
but am I the only one who feels this friction?

You mean too much to me
for me to let you go.
Sure, at one point I loved you,
but now you need to know.

You've hurt me too many times.
I've felt too much pain.
You never truly loved me.
I've lost too much to regain.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! :)

Peace.

~*::♫♪♥'.victoria.'♥♪♫::*

This Has Really Turned Into Something..

I didn't sleep very well last night, I was too busy thinking. Some things were really bothering me. And it actually felt, I guess, good to post that poem. I wrote it. I didn't go through different websites looking for the perfect poem to express my feelings. So instead, I wrote two last night. I stayed up late trying to edit them and make them perfect to the best of my ability. I went to an online rhyming dictionary to find the best words to go with each other. It felt right to write about my feelings and get what I was thinking about out of my head. So here are the two that I wrote:

As I walk through the halls
I see your face in the crowd.
Your bright blue eyes staring back at me,
they seem to be screaming so loud.

I want to be able to tell you,
I just want to feel your touch.
But I don't think you'd understand.
I just love you way too much.

Even though I don't know if you truly love me,
You are the most trustworthy person I know.
I don't know what I would do without you.
What would happen to me if you were to go?

I wouldn't be able to survive
Without your eyes shining back at me.
Should I tell you how I feel?
Or should I just leave that up to destiny?

I think I will tell you what you mean to me,
I want to know what you have to say.
Do you truly love me?
If not, my world will turn to grey.

And the second:

These feelings I have for you can never go away,
You'll always have a special place in my heart.
I now know what you meant to me
Now that we're so far apart.

I'll never know if you liked me,
I never had a chance to ask.
Since I moved away from you
Finding out has been my task.

I've replayed conversations over and over,
Trying to remember the fun times we've had.
But not once can I remember
You ever making me mad.

You were perfect to me,
I'll never have a doubt.
Did you even know I existed?
I guess I'll never find out.

~*::♫♪♥'.victoria.'♥♪♫::*

Me? Write Poetry?! Pfft. Yeah, Sure.

Let me just start out with this: I can't write poetry for crap. No kidding. So last year during English we had a poetry unit. And mine were okay, sure they sucked. But I did write one poem that I absolutely loved, and I thought, for me, this was actually pretty good.

I had forgotten about this poem until I found it in my closet today. So, just so I don't lose it again, here it is:

I looked out my window,
the sky turning black.
The frustration and anger
that made me hold back.

I wanted to tell him,
to tell him the truth.
I wanted to show him
how much he made me hurt.

I looked away, remembering the pain,
the blood boiling throughout my veins.
I took a walk to shake off the anger.
I didn't think I could take it any longer.

But then I saw him, his face in my head,
I'm thinking of all the fun we used to have.
I missed it all, but mostly him.
Without him, my world turned dim.

Pretty good, eh? At least I thought it was. :)

Peace.

~*::♫♪♥'.victoria.'♥♪♫::*